well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
