Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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