i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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