At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize