Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
