You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
