Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
