I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
