i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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