he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
