your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
