its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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