You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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