i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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