I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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