Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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