yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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