Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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