i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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