the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
