I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
