Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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