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I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
