you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
