Got a toothbrush?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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