I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
