Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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