Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
