I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
