I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
