I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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