I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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