Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Randomize
