is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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