Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
