i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
