3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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