If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
