but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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