guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What a dumb baby whore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
