Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
