I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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