Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
