Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
