Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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