Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
