worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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