Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
