Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
