margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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