Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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