Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
