We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
